Monday, November 10, 2008

Cupcakes Out. Salad In.

Cupcakes are out, according to today's New York Times.

While whoopie pies have made cupcakes obsolete, as Liza Shore wrote in her great essay, according to 12 people in New York, they have become obsolete for entirely different reasons. School children across the country are apparently being dissuaded from bringing in unhealthy foods for their classmates to enjoy. One would assume that our right to sell baked goods to fund the 6th grade Halloween dance would be upheld by our great constitution but it looks like someone needs to call the ACLU.

It's like Double Stuf Oreos, but more like a bake sale.

Luckily, no one is raining on my parade since these spectacles are dead to me for three reasons:
1. I'm 25.
2. When I went to public high school, "bake sales" were pre-packaged messes, mere masquerades of Nana's recipe for fudge brownies (or Mandel Bread).
3. I was walking down 72nd street in NY one day and at 5th Ave. students from a tony private school were selling cookies to raise money for some kind of exotic vacation to the Maldives or the zoo or something. The cookies looked very good and i already had 3 in my mouth when I was told that I now owed the 12 year old kid with braces five dollars! Five dollars?!?! I'm pretty sure that cookies and brownies at bake sales when I was growing up cost 50 cents!

But this fascist elimination of the bake sale is ridiculous. What's next? Turnips and rutabagas? Bulgur and wheat germ? When are kids going to splurge a little bit? Can't they stuff their faces twice a year with semi-sweet chocolate, butter, cream, eggs, bleached flour, and, if they're lucky, polysorbate 60. If bake sales were not dead to me, I would not hesitate to make this into a political issue. Cupcakes may be dead but as long as we preheat the oven to 400 degrees and bake at 325 for 40 minutes I think we'll make it.


maldives holidays said...

eating cake and salad is an great idea in the beautiful resorts of Maldives.

maldives holidays

obbop said...

As the economy continues to shove a growing number of USA denizens face-first into the quagmire of economic despair I expect the USA's working poor to increasingly depend upon dumpster diving as a source of nutrients and various vittles.

But, as long as the USA's worthy elite class and corporate America and the deserving wealthy/powerful special-interest groups can continuously amass an ever-growing percentage of the national wealth then all is proper and as it should be in the USA.

Just obey your masters, the ruling class.

You ARE patriotic, aren't you.

Just obey the propaganda and indoctrination you have been immersed in from your earliest years and that will continuously impact you until the day you die.

Thank you